Colors of Winter
Original sentence
The air was full of fine snow flurries, and the ripe rose hips were red as summer against the snow.
First draft
The air was full of crystal flurries
the ripe rose hips red as summer
against the snow.
Second draft
Air full of crystal flurries
rose hips as red as summer
in the snow.
January 2, 2023
(poem in progress © 2023 Bernadette E. Kazmarski)
I drafted this about a week ago when I posted this photo, just as a sentence, knowing I wanted to work with it. The photo was a difficult catch, the flurries in movement and the rose hips holding still and glistening. I tried to capture the feeling of the movement and contrast that I remembered, and that still inspire me.
I composed the first draft poem in the past tense as was the original statement.
Then I felt it would work better in present tense.
I think I’ll leave it here for today, and I know I’ll come back to it.
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